No Fringe Benefits!
Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake’s new chick flick ‘Friends With Benefits’ hits the theaters on Friday July 22nd. Lights Camera Action presents talking points about the real benefits.
Nuzhat Aziz, Editor Mid DAY, Pune, India
I seriously have a proposal for Mark Zuckerberg. He should expand the Facebook relationship status field to include: ‘Friends With Benefits’, honestly, I am not kidding. And maybe expand it further to ‘No Strings Attached’. Wouldn’t it be so much fun? And wicked?
Well, the strangest thing can happen to two individuals the moment they change their relationship status to Friends With Benefits. It gets complicated. But it clearly should not. Considering you are best of friends and understand each other perfectly. So how does it matter when a little bit of sex gets involved. It’s just taking your friendship to bed, isn’t it? Well, life is not as simple as it seems.
When two individuals get close and bond and a special friendship grows over time, I presume all inhibitions are shed. The territory is known, the secrets shared, the stories told. Strangely, it doesn’t happen like a perfect script. Complications arise, wonder why? Is it because getting physically intimate makes us more demanding and thus unreasonable? Does it mean that we can rule each others lives even when we are giving in to sexual fantasies in bed?
Alas, the friendship gets complicated. It certainly does. But look at the brighter side. He is your friend — best friend. And if he makes you happy in bed… he does come with benefits, doesn’t he? And why suddenly all that he does becomes annoying? And having sex with your best friend does not in any way mean you have to marry him. And since it’s not a one night stand, it definitely means you are not carrying any baggage.
And while we are at this argument, which might just go one forever, we shall await to see what Dylan (Justin Timberlake) and Jamie (Mila Kunis) do after they discover that adding the act of sex to their friendship does lead to complications in the upcoming release of Friends with Benefits.
Till then sign in and send your proposals to Zuckerberg!
Jasbina Ahluwalia is an attorney turned entrepreneur, relationship columnist, matchmaker and radio show host – she is the founder of Intersections Match, the only national elite personalized matchmaking and dating coaching firm for South Asian Singles in the U.S.
“Friends with benefits” can be convenient sources of comfort, BUT, and this is a big but, that convenience and comfort oftentimes comes at an extremely high cost. What’s the cost? The greatest cost which comes to mind is debilitating distraction from developing intimacy with a prospective partner with long-term potential. Instead of developing a close relationship with a long-term partner, a person may let precious time pass in the convenient and comfortable “friends with benefits” zone thereby missing opportunities with Mr/Ms Right. If you find yourself in a “friend with benefits” situation, ask yourself: while you’re investing your time, energy and potential emotion on a person with whom there is just no long-term potential, who might you be completely missing out on?
Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni is an award-winning author and poet. Her themes include women, immigration, and the South Asian experience.
I have not seen the movie but i feel it is better to keep friendships pure (i.e. without a physical relationship). on the other hand, if friendship becomes part of a physical relationship, such as marriage, it can deepen & enhance that relationship.
