Green-lighting a Guy – 5 Reasons Smiling’s Just Not Enough
We are often told to smile — for the camera, for a date, and for a job interview. Yet how important is this element of body language? According to numerous research studies, plenty. Researchers tracked the lives of women who displayed the best smiles in yearbook photos and compared them to ladies with less stellar grins to see how life fared after the camera clicked. Turns out that the women who smiled more wound up with happier marriages, fewer setbacks, and a greater satisfaction in life.
Yet for all the evidence that points to the significance of the smile, is it really enough to snag (and keep) a date? Studies suggest that it takes more for a man to know you’re interested than a mere smile. Since many men avoid rejection at all costs, the result is that it takes more than your pearly whites to secure a date. Here’s why:
Sure, to you a smile may convey obvious interest. However, to a man, your smile may make him think you’re just being polite. Remember, the quickest distance between two points is a straight line. Coming out and letting him know you’re interested is the only surefire way to ensure that he “gets it.”
2. Other ways come across more clear
According to the book Are You Normal About Sex, Love, and Relationships?, 51 percent of people state that flattery is the best way to indicate interest in another person. Meanwhile, 25 percent of singles report that touching the other person is an effective way to flirt. These signals come across much more clearly than a smile.
3. Fear makes us inactive
When polled, 40 percent of men acknowledge that they are “scared” when first interacting with a potential date, according to a commonly cited statistic from Neil Clark Warren. This is likely one of the reasons the majority of people who report being “single” haven’t gone on a date for at least two years. The fear of rejection holds people back, underscoring the importance of making your interest unambiguously clear.
4. Being confidently bold makes women stand out
A woman who unambiguously green-lights a man sets herself apart from the crowd. Her confidence will undoubtedly impress him. While women frequently assume the passive role, a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it conveys a unique attitude that many men find attractive.
5. Clarity conveys success
Being direct and going after what you want in life is imperative to success in any aspect of life. Many men want a woman who will be successful, both in and out of the home.
While flashing a flirtatious smile is certainly helpful to scoring a date, it shouldn’t be seen as an obvious clue. Rather than waiting for a man to approach, it may be time to send stronger signals and directly express your interest.
Matchmaker & Dating Coach: Jasbina Ahluwalia
She is an Indian-American Attorney-turned-Entrepreneur, Relationship Expert, Radio Show Host and Matchmaker/Dating Coach.
A finalist in OPRAH’S search for a TV Host, she’s also been featured in the New York Times, San Jose Mercury News, Chicago Tribune, Washington Post & Entrepreneur Magazine.
She has also moderated/participated on panels at Harvard Business School, Wharton, Northwestern & Columbia.
Jasbina previously practiced law in San Francisco and Chicago. She earned her B.A/M.A. in Philosophy from Vanderbilt University, and JD from the University of Michigan Law School.